I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi.

I've got strep!

Yay!

But the fact is, I haven't like bought any new clothes that actually accentuate the weight I lost.( TW: weight, weight loss, body image )
I got a makeover at the (unfortunately) most expensive counter at Nordstrom's Friday evening, the woman took maybe ten minutes to make me look five years younger. (And yeah, I already look pretty young, I know.) She gave me some free samples after I spent far too much on moisturizer, but I figure once a month I can afford something like this. The cream blush was to die for. I looked like I'd had just a single glass of wine, all aglow and fresh. So, we'll see. She did think I had to wear sunscreen while working with computers - has she not heard of LCD screens? - and mentioned lots of MSFT women felt clueless. I don't feel clueless, I just wondered if I could do better. And like I said, she did. Someone else said I looked like a doll, by which I think he meant unnatural, but I figured I wasn't going out in daylight so whatevs.

Anyway, part one of turn into a woman is almost complete. Clothing will be next. I swear I'm going to buy cute stuff and pay an asian lady to tailor darts into it so I look like I do have a waist, and all that. Whew!

I saw these on QI and they are awesome.

Finished Mad Men S4. I definitely agree with some other people who say it's really only worth watching for the aesthetics. The aesthetics are really awesome, though.

Wednesday night I had plans but dropped them for girlfriend-emergency. When a friend gets dumped, you give them booze and benzos, right? And tell them stories about how embarrassing your own exes acted, and all that rot.

A few years ago (before I got into fanfic) I was writing a story about boys and girls in Seattle, and one of the girls was a half-black, half-Jewish liberal poly stereotype. Anyway the book stalled b/c I kept going to backstories on everyone's college years, including the liberal girl, who lived in a house with other poly people and they all slept with each other and everyone was happy with the situation, except her female FWB who wanted more than a couple dates a month.

(I WONDER WHAT THAT STORY MEANT.)

Ahem. Last night we went skiing, night skiing at Snoqualmie Pass. First skiing of 2013, next apparently we're going to Stevens. Heh. It was bloody awesome. The only bad part was when Reg accidentally took me on a lift that only had black paths down. I tried my best, but about halfway down I fell, and every time I tried to get up, I just slid down. (It was around 29F so very slushie.) So I figured I'd just slide the whole way down. Reg was impressed at how well I was able to control my sliding, but it was just like normal skiing: you point them and you go THAT way.

Also been trying to see if I can get into the Less Wrong community. I love the site, have for years, but most of the people who post there just seem completely humorless and unintentionally misogynistic. Not all of them, just most. So maybe I should try to steer more people to read the sequences on how to hack your brain, at least, so people realize that just because you act like you believe something, doesn't mean you really believe it.

So I've had like 3 root canals that I need to pay for, so everyone is giving me money for xmas so I can do this. Basically my insurance ran out on the 2nd one and I couldn't not get the root canal. I mean I suppose I could have just had the teeth pulled but they were frontish teeth, not molars. I already feel like a gap-toothed hillbilly.

So yeah, a couple shirts and candy and random stuff - Reg paid for my new tattoo for part of an Xmas present, and also he got me a sweet necklace. And some new gloves since I dropped one at Mission Ridge.

Plus we were going to go to Crystal Mountain for the 25th, and gloves would be awesome. It started snowing on the drive up - it's much closer than I realized, but that's partly because there was no traffic. We went to Rainier area a few times over the summer, and the traffic was always terrible on a nice day, but this time nada. So we got there before noon, traded in the corporate passes for gondola passes.

I am not an awesome skier, and I have mainly NOT skied while it snows. It was not quite what people call "Washington Concrete", but it was close. A bit too warm and too much fluffy shit that you just basically snowplow into. I mean, I normally am good at falling on my ass when I ski, but on that last bit of the bunny slope, I was going really really fast and hit a drift and faceplanted like whoa. So that wetted out my jacket, and filled my goggles with snow, and I had a really hard time just getting up. The weather finally calmed down around 2:30pm, but by then my muscles were feeling the burn of trying to keep control in the deep snow. I am totally sticking to groomed runs if I take up cross-country, I swear.

When we got home Reg wanted to watch Schindler's List. I'd actually successfully avoided it for years, I mean, I knew the basic plot, but Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes are pretty goddamn awesome in it. I told Reg they should make a sequel, set in 1950s Saudi Arabia oil plants. Well, ok, maybe not, but the premise appeals to that black hearted cynic inside me. Afterwards naturally we watched Die Hard.

And I know that almost no one in Seattle reads this, but I'm planning to go to Leavenworth to improve my skiing.

The hotel where the Jurassic Park film crew stayed was ruined by a typhoon towards the end of filming, so it's a nasty looking death trap full of rats now. We drove by it every time we went up the east coast of the island, but I didn't feel like trespassing without sneakers. And you don't wear sneakers if you can avoid it. "Why the hell did I bring all these long-sleeved shirts?" asked Reg. (So no pictures of a nasty rotting hotel.)

We got in on 12/1 before 2pm, but I frankly didn't want to do anything but go to bed early after we settled in just before sunset. We stayed in Poi'pu, which is sort of the southeast corner/just past the eastern part on the southern coast. Day 2 wasn't bad, went up the eastern road back past Lihue and Kapaa. The timeshare we stayed at for a week wasn't available any more than 6 days, so on the last day we had to go to Kapaa and stay there. Anyway it's a small small island, you can drive around the main roads that (almost) circle the island in probably two hours. And it only takes that long because of the sloooow drivers. I got some rays, a swimsuit and a pineapple, and then we went to to a Mediterranean-themed restaurant for dinner back in Poi'pu.

The one problem with this time of year is the sunset is like 6:15pm or something silly like that, and sunrise is 7am or so. This wouldn't normally be a problem I guess, except that there's no nightlife to speak of on Kauai. So we'd go to bed relatively early (1am) and get up at 9am. Day 3 wasn't very nice in Poi'pu, so Reg and I drove west along the southern shore, and stopped at the Russian fort in Waimea and hung out on the rocky shoreline there. (The fort is now just a few walls of rock that are almost 200 years old.) It got a bit crappy again when we returned, which made grilling steak a pain.

Day 4 had lots of pictures, as we drove on Waimea Canyon Drive through Waimea Canyon State Park. The weather was the worst yet, about 70F and windy and cloudy as we got higher and higher up. At the very end of the road is an overlook to the northern coast, which really has terrible weather (over 400inches of rain a year), but as a result is quite lush. It's known as the Na'pali coastline, and this is the bit of the island where the roads don't circle. You have to see it by boat or air.

We went back (well, all of us but John and Katie, who were determined to hike) to Waimea town, bought some cookies and shirts and another pineapple. The weather was finally getting to rain, so we didn't stick around that long. We stopped in Hanapepe and hit the swinging bridge that's just like most suspension bridges on WA Forest hikes. Reg wanted to check out the bookstore, which had lots of crazy old books for reasonable prices, including a First Edition set of Churchill's history of WWII. All six books for $40. Reg was psyched indeed. Unfortunately at this point the rain was really coming down, so we went back to the hotel and thought about dinner. Reg's dad had been raving about the Puka Dogs, so we figured that would be fine, since Katie and John were still hiking. Reg and I put on TCM because The Sting was on. (We have cable right now but are not in the habit of watching it.) We also watched the 4 hours of lightning strikes, dang.

On Day 5, we decided to go to Hanalei. Although there was a miscommunication, and Katie and John (who had their own car) took us to Ke'e Beach instead. Well, it was pretty nice there, too, but it's where the northwest road ends, right near the Napali coastline, so it was really far, and not super warm. After about an hour, we drove back south, to Anini beach. There's a park area where people can camp, but the end of the road has a nicer area for wading. But the sun was going to set fast, and we wanted to go to the lighthouse. The lighthouse costs money to get in, so we didn't actually go to it, but stayed at the viewpoint where you can see about 6 kinds of birds flying and nesting. Then, dinner at the Bistro nearby. Decent prices for really good food.

I'd wanted to try surfing the previous day, but there was no opportunity. So Day 6 we called up one of the Poi'pu surf schools and got a spot for a noon surfing lesson. I also picked up some shorts (I'd gotten a shirt the day before) and changed into them. So, if you've never surfed, you first have to learn how to stand up. We practiced that on the ground for about half an hour, then carried our boards using our heads (ow, ow) to an area on the beach. Then we paddled out a little bit to wait for appropriate waves. Paddle two lengths then stand up. Easier said than done. Then, paddle back out, against the current again, and listen to the instructor remind you of what you're supposed to do. Chest up, hips up, right foot forward first, then left foot. Much easier on the ground than on a wave, of course. Anyway, repeat that for about an hour, or till you think you're going to die. I did finally manage to stand up all the way to the beach twice, and two other times on my knees. I also fell into rocks. Ow. Reg and his parents were snorkeling and swimming with a sea turtle in the meantime.

I was pretty much dead to the world by the time we had lunch, I have to say. Not only was I exhausted from using muscles I don't normally use, I was starving and wanted an entire pork sandwich to myself. And a pineapple daiquiri. We went back briefly then hung out on the beach till almost sunset, when it was getting a bit chilly. I mean, I personally don't think that 75F is an appropriate temperature to sit in surf at. I really prefer 85F for swimming, and it was a really really nice day for surfing.

Next day was the day we had reservations on a catamaran to see the Napali coastline. Unfortunately I got seasick and couldn't really look anywhere but the horizon without wanting to hurl. So I don't really have many pictures. But I did see dolphins. And also whales. Oh, and while everyone was having dinner, I saw a shark fin, too. Reg got some stitched panos though. We also saw a nude beach, and a few waterfalls (not many b/c of the drought, haha), and a beach full of sea turtles.

On day 8 we moved to our new hotel and went back to Hanalei. Pretty much hit every single shop that we hadn't hit before, had lunch in the second story seafood joint with a nice view, and I made an appointment to get a tattoo on our last full day out. We also went back to Anini Beach for a while; Reg and I found some homemade swings in a tree down the way. Had sushi for dinner, at a place where they had cameras set up over the sushi chef guy, and showed it on the big screen TVs. Kind of nifty.

Day 9 John and Katie were leaving, so we had breakfast together and caught some rays behind the hotel. (This one was right smack on the beach; the other one was fairly close to some big rocks.) It was a lot windier than I'd expected so I had to make sure I didn't lose my hat. Finally they took off, and then Reg fell asleep for a while. The weather turned by 2pm and Reg was still asleep by 3pm, so I got to drive in the rain back up to Hanalei. My tattoo was 4pm and we got there about 10 minutes early; it's about 35miles but people were actually driving at a reasonable pace. So there you go. I got a turtle with a wave in it. The tattoo guy was recommended by one of the galley slaves on the catamaran - she was originally from Seattle so we took her advice. He was kind of a crazy libertarian type, really anti-government except that he thought Arabs should be put in camps. "For their own safety." I managed to get him and Reg talking about WWII so that was a little more comfortable. Anyway, small tattoo so it wasn't too long.

And then the next day, it was time to go back. I took a bunch of pictures before checkout, and a few at Lydgate Beach. We weren't sure were to eat lunch, so I looked up on Yelp and found a hole in the wall - literally - near the rental car place. So we got burgers and then returned the car. And then the airport. I think I got pulled aside for a random search, but after seven minutes or so no one had searched me, so I just went to the gate. Probably shouldn't have pink hair if I keep flying.

Not that I find the man actually attractive in general, but I can see how others might. Anyway, Skyfall is the weirdest James Bond he's done yet. I mean, they were all weird, right, but this one has him caring about MULTIPLE THINGS besides drinking, hot chicks, and shooting people. Of course he loses most of these things during the course of the movie and kind of goes in a circle right back to original 007 stuff. Kind of weird. And then there's Ben Wishaw and Javier Bardem, both used quite well. (Not to mention Ralph Fiennes. I'd still do him, believe you me.)

And then I saw Cloud Atlas and that made me forget about everything else. Oh my lord, I forgot how much I love Tom Tykwer and everything he touches. He did half the "movies" in CA - it was more like 6 movies in one, you might say. The Wachowskis did the rest of them, and well, you know, you could tell. I like weird sci-fi action as much as the next nerd, and they do it pretty damn well.

Oh yeah and Ben Wishaw was in this too. And Tom Hanks played more roles than anyone else. Sometimes you forget the man actually won a bunch of Oscars for a reason, but also that he's a damn fine comic actor.

ANYWAY IT'S GREAT OMFG

Sorry for not being funny LJ! Everyone else is doing one-liners on FB and shit so here we go:

• Someone said that Infinite Jest is the iPhone, but I think it's Tumblr.

• The worst part for NYC during the hurricane? No one could post any angry Yelp reviews.

• And with the legalization of gay marriage in three more states, wedding planners rub their hands together in glee like Mr. Burns.

• Meeting guys at AA meetings seems counterproductive to me. But if they're really hot, I suppose that could help. I mean, as hotness approaches infinity, it collapses the waveform function of awkwardness, right?

I never saw most horror films - I can make a short list, and it's like, um, The Shining and The Wicker Man. I have watched the first 10 Simpson Halloween specials, though, so no big deal.

No Nightmare, no Friday, no Halloween. Not even Scream. I think this comes from seeing Gremlins RIGHT when it came out on video and being too freaked out by those evil freaks to sleep for a week. Also, my parents preferred suspense films to straight out horror. As did my college friends. Well, no, my college friends preferred artsy movies. TALK ABOUT SUSPENSE. (Most "art films" are terrible crap where nothing happens till the last act where something awful happens. Sometimes the timing is reversed, and the awful thing happens in the first act, and then everyone is just laying around traumatized for another hour.)

So last night I watched Re-Animator for the first time. I wasn't surprised at how silly it was, but I was surprised that it was better than I thought it would be. The villain actually had a decent plan, and in fact kinda got away with it. ALSO the security guard didn't die. That was pretty good. We were watching it over streaming video, and it reset right after a um critical headless scene, so we watched that part again. And then people came over, so we rewound that part again.




I'll probably copy the HP Lovecraft story it was based on to my Kindle.