I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi.

Reg likes to tease me about how much I identify with Sherlock Holmes. There's a few reasons for that.

I've had good friends get creeped out when I've reminded them of specific words they said on a specific date, so don't ask how frightened bloggers can get when you tell them that three years ago you stayed up late and read their entire archive, then quote lines they wrote back to them. (And then, there's being on the other side, knowing you had a whole thread with the other person a few years ago, and they have absolutely no memory of it at all. Because with normal people, internet things don't click for them as real.)

Half the male friends I have are more "emotionally intelligent" than I am, and the other half are so "non-neurotypical" that they seem like aliens to me. The latter make me look/feel "normal" by comparison, and my emotional intelligence isn't really that poor, it's just not quite as immediately accessible as the rest of my brain. Apparently it's a lot more obvious to these high EQ men than to me, although since I am fairly high-functional and cry when I get my period, they just joke that I'm a sociopath. (One of those "ha ha, only serious" things.)

Also, there's like moments on the show where Sherlock appears to read perfect strangers far more accurately than his "inner circle" and boy can I relate to that. (Not that I can't read my friends, it's just that the processing circuit tends to be powered down around friends vs. strangers. This is why some introverts like this one get really tired and anxious at parties where they don't know anyone, and then contrariwise feel quite happy and empowered at small gatherings where they know everyone well. This is also partly why I like concerts better than say house parties. When there's no actual expectation of social interaction, it's not very draining.)

So Wednesday I went to collect my Decibel Festival pass (brought to me by the kind folks of XLR8R and random number generation), then rode the bus downtown to get Reg's Matthew Dear ticket. Unfortunately the box office closed at 6pm and the Green Room didn't open till 7pm (it was 6:50), so I just walked up to Triple Door and said "hey it says I need a ticket from will call?" and they're like "right on sit here next to someone you don't know." Which is as expected when you show up 5 minutes before something starts. I ordered my drink and made zero talk with the guy next to me, except when I discovered they had free wifi.

I've only been to one other similar thing in SF with Steve, where you sit at a fancy table and get service during a show and all that. I have to say it is choice, and the sound almost made me want earplugs. First person to do their ambient thing was decent, although the visuals were very cool. Next person was awesome, and also playing at Neumo's later. Third person started out too ambient for me, beach noises and crickets chirping, but got better. He was also playing at Neumo's later (dvDub and Monolake).

So I ran back to Showbox, got Reg's ticket, then ran up to catch a bus to Neumo's. Except that a) my phone was at 2% power and b) the only card I had any money on, was about to have a big payment clear. But I checked the ATM and it was fine. You can see what's coming, can't you.

I had a powerful lust for chips and salsa, so I stopped at Poquito's for a margarita and chips. The guys sitting next to me at the bar were making me giggle with their WE CAN'T TALK ABOUT POLITICS IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND/talking about politics game. The guy with the GF had more nuanced views, while the single man was just going to go ahead and vote for Obama. Eventually, due to the aforementioned hilarity, I borrowed the single man's phone to call Reg to beg him to pay my bill.

Since he and his friend overheard me, they bought me a shot of tequila while the GF was having a smoke. Secret drinking, the best way to make friends. Not that I remember their names or anything. I do remember them saying "No more politics or Gettin' Pussy talk." And I was like "Fine with me, I don't like pussy." And then of course we proceeded to do just that. On my part I quoted some Bill Hicks at them, and reminded them that in WA your vote for the president counts for jack and shit. For the latter, I told single guy that chicks tend to hate beards, aside from those girls that actually like it a ton (and the girls that are indifferent). I pointed out that his friend had a GF and she probably made him shave every day or something.

And finally my boyfriend arrived to save the day. We were both annoyed at each other, but he still agreed to pick me up at 1:30am while he hung out with a friend of a friend who just got dumped. So I walked over to Neumo's (where Monolake was hanging out in front of the Fish Fry place eating some fish'n'chips) and began dancing. Saw Jason and told him my phone was dead, and that he'd be my walkie talkie. That worked out ok, we danced near each other by the speakers in front.

I put my jacket, hoody and purse down in front of the speaker for a while, but my purse totally got jacked from that locale. Kind of freaky and nerve-wracking - I was convinced someone had stolen it, and my dentist-prescribed meds were in it. (I did retrieve it Thursday afternoon intact in every way.) The 3 drinks (hell, more like 5, big ass margaritas) made me not care so much, and enjoy dancing a lot more than I normally would have. Although every time I accidentally danced onto a cute guy, he allowed it to happen exactly twice, then backed away and began using his smartphone in a very intent and purposeful way. I came to the conclusion that these not-so-young men were gay or had girlfriends. (Actually, the gay ones just backed away casually, now that I think on it.)

So after the show we started an informal poll, that guys over thirty who were at least moderately attractive tended to have girlfriends. Two guys had wedding rings and the third guy was under 30 so not relevant to the poll - besides he had a neck tattoo so it wasn't a real surprise that he didn't have a girlfriend. However, he started talking about getting mugged for his bike, and fighting back by using the bike against the assailant/would-be thief. That was sort of sexy. Fortunately Reg showed up before I could tell icky neck-tattoo guy that I found guys getting into fights an attractive quality.

Thursday I spent half the day playing phone tag with my dentist's office, since he's the only actual doctor there, and he was home today, but I did manage to get the scripts filled before 2pm. I was hoping it'd get called in before my lunch instead of after, but there you go. At least my pho was absolutely bomb. PHO BOMB. I wrote a review on Yelp.

I wasn't really feeling up to schlepping to Seattle before it was time for the Orbital show, but Reg wanted to get there in time for the opener. I bussed up to Neumo's, retrieved my purse (Kindle and Matthew-Dear ticket intact), bussed back down and went to the front of the stage with Reg. Paul Chambers was opening, he was mixing loops and stuff into music-type songs, and I enjoyed these sort-of songs, except that they kept lasting 3 minutes or so. That just isn't right, man. I mean, I like glitchy minimal techno as much as the next nerd, but when you do the same thing that Vegas pool DJs do, it's not a good thing.

But so by the time Orbital was almost ready, it was so packed I could barely find Reg again. The brothers came on stage to "Time Becomes" (first track off the brown album), and then their second number was a super remix of "Halcyon+On+On" which I attempted to bootleg. (Holding up a recording device in the air is always a tricky situation.) And they kept on playing for two hours, and I think I developed what I used to at raves, that is to say a "Natural High." It's a combination of great music and hard dancing that just makes your brain go OOMPH, and it's awesome.

On the way to the bathroom I got Quent to come up and dance in front with us, and then after the show, while everyone and their brother (and probably their mother, for that matter) shared a cigarette. We said HI to all the people we haven't seen in 3 years, and the people who moved and came back just for the show, and that was nice. Q & K and us made our way to Dragonfish, which Reg and I hadn't been to since Steve's 2010 February visit, ye gods. The Happy Hour menu is even better now, I must say. I could have gorged myself on small plates. And some young man from Detroit mistook Reg for a DJ.

Anyway, bit of a rough start, but getting awesomer and awesomer.

2012-09-14 19.50.00 Originally uploaded by lauralhb.

So most of the people who we wanted to go camping with this weekend have other commitments. Breaking my toe at the beginning of this month has killed most opportunities for hiking... so I do not fucking know what is going to be happening, except that I do want to leave the county. Don't really care much about anything else.

As a counterpoint, my cold is much better, probably head into work shortly, and here's a picture before I got sick. Like, 12 hours before. I think more people should post pictures of themselves on LJ. Well, attractive pictures, anyway.

(WHITE MALE PRIVILEGE FTW)

I think I broke my toe (or at least sprained it, but the MEDICAL EXPERTS ON FACEBOOK say it's broken - but as it's the 4th toe, a doctor can't do anything I can't for it, except give me vicodin) on Aug 30th at 11pm, I tripped over a cord and it folded back ALL the way to the top of the foot. Woo fun, I stayed off it as much as I could, but then Bumbershoot and oh lord walking all day.

SO I have been gimp-walking, driving (ugh), and using Reg's cane when I feel particularly like House. But it got a lot better the second day, and it's a lot better now. I can almost put my whole weight on my foot (although I have to land on it funny) for a half hour of walking. I expect it'll keep improving, and I really hope that by Friday I can use it properly. I mean, even on the 2nd day, I could outwalk tourists, but I had to use all the muscles in my other leg to do so. I'm used to walking at least 2 miles a day, so I've been kind of grumpy about this. (Also, my period started this Saturday, so I was grumpy all week anyway.)

The weather turned Saturday night, but it's nice again now, and supposed to be for at least another week. I'm super excited to go backpacking again, and then the next weekend, hopefully camping WITH FRIENDS in the desert, and then THE NEXT weekend is Decibel Festival, holy shit ORBITAL and MATTHEW DEAR.

Click the Space Needle for my Bumbershoot pics.

Thoughts:
• I am never going to break my toe and go dancing again.
• The Jezabels were cool for a time-killer, Aussies who have a keyboard in their rock.
• Yelawolf was probably one of the highest, um, performers I've ever seen. He forgot he was in Seattle for a couple songs actually. But he was still on point, and his DJ scratch guy was actually awesome. I recorded his Beastie Boys "cover" but I'm not sure the audio is any good. He told the crowd to mosh and surf during his last song, but people who weren't even born before 1993 are not very good at this. Well, that may be harsh, but these kids were definitely not.
• There was a huge gap full of no one we were very interested in, and that coupled with a definite lack of hard liquor meant we left for a bit. Hit up Oskar's, which is my new favorite restaurant.
• We finally wandered back and looked at the Rock Poster sale. I let this guy convince me to buy one of his limited edition Morrissey screenprints, so if you happen to see them at the show, don't look for #13.
• Ian Hunter & the Rant Band (yes, "Once Bitten Twice Shy" songwriter) was pretty awesome, as was finally not being the oldest people there and all. Not the youngest either. It was definitely a surreal moment when the song I pretty much default to for karaoke was being played LIVE BY THE ACTUAL SONGWRITER.

However, I have to take issue with people who say the best music was all before 1975, or more accurately I guess, people who still pay money to see the Rolling Stones. One of the things I like about live music, even with people who have been performing since the '80s now, is it's not very much like listening to a record. I mean even the Pet Shop Boys put on a SHOW. And with actual music-instrument-players, they don't just repeat the same songs they've been playing for twenty years in the exact same way. And ok, I haven't seen anything but that last concert video, so perhaps Keith Richards and Ian Hunter only do this because they do happen to be so damn old, but I find it disappointing. Jam, guys! ROCK THE FUCK OUT!

("Only one song with a flanger?")

• Before the encore we headed to Key Arena, which was a shame, because Big Sean was still "playing". We got some seats that weren't really that terrible and put on our sunglasses, since this guy was apparently trying to blind the audience. And ok I know a lot of people my age and above have a hard time listening to any kind of hip hop, but this guy, man, he pretty much is the reason for that. Perhaps his earlier songs had more of an aura of social consciousness and we just missed them, but I kind of doubt it. It was like, if someone took DJ Assault's lyrics as a starting point for a freestyle, instead of just something to wrap around phat beats. (And the beats were not even phat.)

And, hahah, this doesn't even surprise me:

Big Sean was arrested on August 4, 2011 for sexual assault at a concert in Lewiston, New York.^[18] On October 26, 2011, Big Sean pleaded guilty to second degree unlawful imprisonment, and was fined $750. The charges of third-degree sexual abuse were dropped.

Anyway, the assault to ALL MY SENSES finally stopped. Not a single person left the floor, unfortunately, so we just tried to get a closer seat. Fairly easily, at least. I was like "Now I know we're the only people over 30 here" till I saw the couple behind us, had to be over 50, with their 10-yo son. Now, Mac Miller is definitely not as offensive (in either sense) as Big Sean or Eminem or Snoop, but he sure does talk about picking up chicks, smoking pot, and uses "fuck" as a modifier. Well, whatever, Guns'n'Roses' first album wasn't much worse, although I only listened to that because my brother was 14 and EXPLICIT LYRICS wasn't fully enforced back then.

• They had this silly thing going on the TV screens (Key Arena is so large that there are two "TV screens" one on either side of the stage) where if you tweeted with the #bumbershoot tag they "might" put it up. A lot of the tweets that made it up there were people saying "OMG I'M ON THE BIG SCREEN" or "ON THE FLOOR FOR @MACMILLER!" Some of them were older people mocking the teenagers and their lack of stamina. Hahahah.

• I haven't actually watched any of Mac Miller's videos since he graduated high school, but he looks like not-a-teenager now. Buff and covered in white-rapper tattoos. He was also obviously high, but not nearly as obnoxiously as Yelawolf. He told a story about a "bust fund" girl he met a couple nights ago at a local club - I just made this term up and submitted it to urban dictionary, but you all have known girls who got everything they owned bought by dumb guys, right? Anyway this chick didn't even have a JOB, but she was also pretty wasted. So he then rapped two songs that could have been written for her, and Reg and I were impressed. Even if it was just about a type of girl, a party girl/girl who likes expensive shit, it was clearly a couple of newer songs that showed his growth as an artist. I mean, his early stuff is kinda silly, about his Nikes and his hat, or whatever, but his flow is so clearly THERE that I'm pretty sure he's going to be doing this for a very long time. Well, as long as he doesn't get a drug addiction.

• We then went to the afterhours party, and it kind of sucked. DJ Mia was great - she played newer remixes of slightly older songs - but the next two DJs were from Vegas, and it showed. First of all, call me "old fashioned" but DJs are supposed to play songs, not 90 second snippets. And if you're gonna try to do the Girl Talk thing, you do still need to do transitions. Otherwise you're just playing one song after another. I can do that, ok. And if you ever play "Call Me Maybe" and actually unironically sing along, you are a total douchebag.

If we knew these guys were going to both be doing that shit, we could have left early enough to catch the bus back home, but as it was, we had to take a cab. Also, Reg tripped and fell, so we were both kind of crippled, which I'm sure contributed to the negative energy. BUT NOT AS MUCH AS SHITTY VEGAS POOL DJS. Seriously, being voted "Best Pool DJ" is not exactly what I would consider relevant credentials.

So, next weekend, big hike (probably not this weekend), and then in two more weeks, Decibel Festival, where we get to listen to world-class DJs in Seattle-class venues!