oh boy

[lauralh]

"Humorist" writes about 2-year-old getting kicked out of preschool. HILARITY ENSUES.

edit: more hilarity! although, not quite as funny.

Comments

[elgorgo.livejournal.com]

Oh god I read that. "Humorist" in quotation marks is right.

I think the reason so many people have reacted so strongly -- the great majority of them agreeing with me that Neal Pollack and his wife, Regina, appear to be crappy parents who should never have spawned -- is because we're living in an age when crappy parenting seems to be the norm.

I am one of those people who believe they never should have spawned.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

Yeah because GOOD parents are NEVER frustrated or angry with their children. And the children of GOOD parents NEVER misbehave.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

my brothers and I were wild but we never fuckin' bit other kids.

[jette.livejournal.com]

ugh, I couldn't even begin to read that...

*beats breast*

In my house we went through a lot, and I mean, a lot, to have our children in childcare as little as possible when they were toddlers. With our first, we worked opposite shifts for five years - by that I mean I worked Monday-Thursday/Friday and Swaz worked evenings and weekends - we never, ever, ever saw each other regualarly except at night.


Because... day care is BAD for two year olds! It's only like, again, five years that you have to re-arrange your life like that - it's not forever, it's NOT that hard, even if it feels like it at the time, and UGH.

/soap box

[jette.livejournal.com]

ooops I was so upset I forgot to close my italic tag

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

yep, that was my first reaction: A TWO YEAR OLD??

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I know a guy whose kids loved and thrived in day care from year 2 on.

I also know a woman who ran an excellent day care/school for 2 year olds.

The stupid thing is to generalize things as "good for all children" or "bad for all children." Children are all different. Some really want and like a social atmosphere with lots of kids. Some aren't ready for a social atmosphere till later.

unrelated

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

DUDE! Check it out - it's Neal Pollack's cat!

http://kittenwar.com/kittens/140/

[bitchness.livejournal.com]

I desperately want to strangle that couple with my bare hands.

[emily-swank.livejournal.com]

I can't believe I just read ALL of that. I am never going to get this paper done.

This actually makes me quite nervous about taking my family stories into a larger public forum. BUT I WILL DO IT ANYWAY.

And two-year-olds belong with Mom. PERIOD.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

as mr. pollack proved, it's easy to tell when you are being funny and being a jackass

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I guess my child will be warped from spending time with his father.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

It's always amusing how self-righteous people can get on the internet. Especially over child care/breastfeeding.

OMG CHILD IN DAYCARE AT TWO!! HIDEOUS CHILD ABUSE!!! WHY DON'T THEY JUST SHOOT THE KID IN THE HEAD AND SCREW THE CORPSE WHILE THEY'RE AT IT!!!!11ONE!!

[bitchness.livejournal.com]

Eh, well, from my perspective it's not so much that they had the kid in daycare, mine were in daycare at that age as well and they were fine with it, but that they were so intent on the kid spending as much time as possible away from home, rather than working out a schedule so that he could spend as much time as possible with them. Since they both worked from home it wouldn't have been all that difficult to manage, with the kid spending maybe a few hours a week in daycare, rather than 5 hours a day. He was very obviously in need of attention, and putting him in a child care facility that was overcrowded and understaffed didn't get him that attention, unless he was doing bad things.

Anyway, there's no doubt in my mind that they're shitty parents, just the reason that I think they're shitty is different than a lot of the people who went ballistic. Blaming his issue with negative attention on the preschool was a particular stroke of genius on the part of the author, I think.

[jette.livejournal.com]

BINGO

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

I agree that parts of the article came across as whiny - like it's someone else's fault they have a 2-year-old.

But I don't think it's always so easy as "giving the kid attention." Some kids are just more difficult than others and there's no way around it. It may be that there is no way to get E to stop biting until he's ready to.

As far as putting him into "substandard" care - part of the author's point was that not everyone can afford to put their kid in the top tier facility, and even if you can afford it, such facilities are often full (they tried several other places first and were rejected).


Blaming his issue with negative attention on the preschool was a particular stroke of genius on the part of the author, I think.

But it's probably true that part of the reason he was acting up was that it DID get him attention. I don't know if that should be a "blame" thing, just a fact. It seemed like the author was saying that they themselves had the same problem - paying more attention to E. when he was bad.

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

It's not that they put him in daycare to begin with, it's that their child was on a near-daily basis inflicting bleeding bite wounds on other people's children, and his reaction is - multiple choice -

a) relief at not being sued by the other children's parents
b) remorse at the injuries caused to other children
c) relief at other children's parents not showing up at his house
d) concern that he and his wife might not be addressing their child's needs
e) concern that his summer will be a "living hell" because he and his wife, both of whom work at home, will actually have to divvy up time spent with their child

I mean, good god. I'm frankly astonished that anybody as articulate as this guy obviously is can actually WRITE that article, presumably read it over before submitting it, and not make the connection between "I think of my child as a liability and a burden, if a cute one, to be avoided as much as possible" and "my child has serious dominance and anger issues."

[jette.livejournal.com]

Hello I A W T C

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was really surprised myself that the other parents let the biting continue so long and/or that the school didn't get scared earlier about it. That seems like a huge liability when you already KNOW the child will bite!

I agree that in parts of the article it seemed that he was lamenting the fact that he'd actually have to spend time with his child. But I read the article a bit differently:

My husband works from home and I have been a student for most of my son's life. I think people don't understand that if you work from home you still actually do need to work. Yes, technically you're there with your child. But in fact you need to get stuff done. Also, it's not at all surprising to me that the wife would have started to go crazy doing 24-7 child care. That's not "considering your child a burden" it's "omg spending my entire life with a 2-year-old is driving me up a tree." Most people feel this way!

I think we need to be careful in "condemning" people for wanting some time away from their child. I love my son, and I certainly don't want to "Avoid him as much as possible." But yes, I too actually do sometimes want time for myself, :o! Alert CPS!

"I think of my child as a liability and a burden, if a cute one, to be avoided as much as possible" and "my child has serious dominance and anger issues."

Behavioral problems can happen with any child. I got kicked out of one preschool myself for being difficult (not biting, but still). My sister and brother on the other hand were very easy children. Same parents, different kids.

As far as my "behavioral problems" go, I grew out of them, like most kids do. In fact part of the problem was simply that the school I was in was not right for me, which can also happen because kids aren't all the same. For the rest of my life I have been a straight-A student (including law school), never suspended, let alone expelled. As for biting - my cousin bit a lot when he was two. He's a perfectly normal guy now.

[perich.livejournal.com]

Okay, pretend I'm from Mars or something, because I clearly don't understand what's actually wrong with what the parents in the Salon essay did.

Yes, they shouldn't have had the child if they weren't prepared for the financial setbacks that a child involves. But, they did. And here they are. So what should they have done during the timespan described in the essay?

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

i think the reason everyone's going nuts is because he tried to use humor about how much he dislikes his child. also not giving a shit about the kid who got bitten and bloody.

there's a lot of things they could have done, here's (http://www.salon.com/mwt/letters/2005/06/01/toddler_letters/index3.html) an example of a schedule they could follow.

[perich.livejournal.com]

i think the reason everyone's going nuts is because he tried to use humor about how much he dislikes his child.

Hey - that's what humorists do. Good humorists talk about funny things that happen to them. Bad humorists try to make the things that happen to them seem funny, which I think is Pollack's case.

But Pollack is by no means the first humorist in the last hundred years to turn "trouble with the kids at home" into column fodder.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

That schedule is hilariously unrealistic.

Speaking as a parent who has spent over a year now with two parents working mostly from home and raising a child.

[eyelid.livejournal.com]

So what should they have done during the timespan described in the essay?

Well CLEARLY they should both have quit their jobs and spent all their time hovering obsessively over their child. Then everything would be perfect!

[bitchness.livejournal.com]

Nobody in this thread has advocated that except for you. You're continually exposing your stupidity by exaggerating and putting words in the mouths of others. Nothing can substitute for a parent's love and attention, and without it kids can have serious problems. I'm wondering if your kids have some serious issues because of your work schedule, and that's why you're being so incredibly defensive?