I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi.

I've been having mild headaches since the most extreme symptoms of my disease abated. I think it's because I stopped taking sudafed. Oh the irony. Last night I tried to use a small amount of coffee to fix this, but it didn't work, and this morning I knocked over the coffee cup that was still next to my keyboard. I hope the keyboard works later, but right now the backspace and T and P aren't working properly. I do have another one but it's not as nice.

Anyway the headache made me want to lay around doing nothing, but that was slightly boring, so Reg and I watched Righteous Kill, which was not just a waste of 2 hours. I like me some dumb action movies, but dumb thrillers are a little less bearable. I don't know what the hell Pacino and DeNiro were thinking. The script itself was cheesy but could have gone somewhere under the hands of a capable director, which this guy really wasn't. I can't think he said more than "OK, you be an asshole, and you be cool" to Bobby and Al. I mean they did it quite well, and Pacino nailed some of the cheesiest terrible lines with aplomb and sincerity, but they alone could not save this cinematic travesty.

I was convinced last year to get a pair of running shoes half a size too large, that is unless I wear thick wool socks, which I normally don't do in the summer. But I did today, because yesterday I felt off balance all day, culminating in the incident where I ate shit as I got off the 15. Fortunately this stop was right across from a walgreens, so I was able to go in and buy some lovely things to disinfect. I mainly landed on my hands, and primarily my right hand. The palm was slightly blooded, and the pinky and knuckles were abraded rather badly. After ten minutes with peroxide and tissue the dirt was gone, at least, but I had a new friendly bruise on my left knee. Which is great cos I got one on the opposite side of that knee a week ago, and the bruise is still visible. It hurt quite a bit to walk as the patella hit either bruise.

That at least is not as bad today, but my right arm around the shoulder feels like someone tried to rip it out of the socket. Fortunately I already have my computer workstation set up for leftie-mousing, but everything else is killer. Even reading a book using the right hand hurts pretty bad. Also, I barely got five hours of sleep last night. I did pamper myself a bit today, having ice cream at 3 and making my own burger for dinner. (Beecher's Flagship cheese mixes amazingly well with Kraft American, by the way. As do butter-fried shallots, if you swing that way.)

Upon arriving to work I went to fix myself a cup of coffee. Despite the hour being 9 there was nothing but dregs from the night before. I soldiered on and tried to reheat it in the microwave, but just as I got it to the right temperature I spilled it all over the counter, under the microwave, et cetera, and for some fucking reason, Evil Jesus didn't get any paper towels from Costco. So I had to pull a ton from the ladies' restroom.

Anyway. There is now fresh coffee, and Rice Krispy Treats, and I have not spilled anything for nearly an hour. If only I didn't feel so groggy life would be good. Speaking of groggy it's insanely hot today, or will be. I want to lie on a couch and faint like Blanche Dubois.