I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi.

i was just crossing the street to go to westlake center
waiting for the light to change
about twenty people started to cross, and i was about to cross with them when i saw the light was still green, so I waited
and one woman who didn't get over fast enough
went SMACK and flew a few feet to the ground
the truck that hit her stopped and a pretty young guy got out
i didn't see any blood but I moved fast enough that I wouldn't have to
i think someone said that her head was split open
but there was an ambulance right around the corner
so while I picked up some half-price godiva chocolates they wrapped her up
and when I came back out she was being put on a stretcher

the moral is, don't fuckin' jaywalk

also, HALF PRICE GODIVA CHOCOLATE BUNNIES.