some thoughts about girls
May. 27th, 2004 03:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lauralhI have a theory about gender. Well, several. Not just about gender, i mean it's all interconnected.
anyway here's the basics of it:
1) in today's society, there is no way to differentiate between nature vs. nurture, and in fact they both interact with each other as a sort of feedback loop. So a girl may have a slight tendency to be tomboyish or uberfemme, and being encouraged to do either will increase the tendencies.
2) culturally1 speaking, the way little girls socialize is kind of wacky and, as I didn't have any female friends as a child2, I don't really understand it.
3) girls who had lots of female friends as children then grow up into that standard stereotype of woman more or less. You know the kind, the kind that misogynists describe.
4) girls who didn't don't so much, but there may still be tendencies, so if they get female friends in high school of the former type, they might be pushed that "standard woman" direction. Although if they get friends like them it's not as pronounced, or nonexistent.
5) these girls also have far more male friends than female friends, if any.
so anyway these are sort of my "working rules of thumb" that i have, mostly based on anecdotal evidence but, nonetheless serving me well enough. needless to say I try to hang out with the "male-socialized" females rather than the "female-socialized" females when I can.
[1] north american culture is all I can speak for.
[2] well, I had a couple, and was mystified when they totally stopped talking to me during the school year.
anyway here's the basics of it:
1) in today's society, there is no way to differentiate between nature vs. nurture, and in fact they both interact with each other as a sort of feedback loop. So a girl may have a slight tendency to be tomboyish or uberfemme, and being encouraged to do either will increase the tendencies.
2) culturally1 speaking, the way little girls socialize is kind of wacky and, as I didn't have any female friends as a child2, I don't really understand it.
3) girls who had lots of female friends as children then grow up into that standard stereotype of woman more or less. You know the kind, the kind that misogynists describe.
4) girls who didn't don't so much, but there may still be tendencies, so if they get female friends in high school of the former type, they might be pushed that "standard woman" direction. Although if they get friends like them it's not as pronounced, or nonexistent.
5) these girls also have far more male friends than female friends, if any.
so anyway these are sort of my "working rules of thumb" that i have, mostly based on anecdotal evidence but, nonetheless serving me well enough. needless to say I try to hang out with the "male-socialized" females rather than the "female-socialized" females when I can.
[1] north american culture is all I can speak for.
[2] well, I had a couple, and was mystified when they totally stopped talking to me during the school year.
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no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:33 pm (UTC)I guess fashion-obsessed might actually be one case of when I think being socialized (by friends OR family) as super girlie might matter, but I do know lots of people who've gone back and forth between being fashion/trendy and not fashion/trendy at various times, regardless of upbringing. I certainly was not socialized to be fashionable, as all my little girlfriends were frumpy nerds and my mom's taste is awful, but I just love clothes and always have.
Gossipy/catty, no. Gay men are stereotypically both. How's that explained?
no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:36 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-28 09:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-28 09:47 am (UTC)honestly I will say that straight guys can be just as gossipy as girls/gay men.
No shit, but stereotypes do exist for a reason.
Date: 2004-05-28 10:08 am (UTC)Steve needs to learn that being a cunt isn't a lifestyle choice; it's genetic.