some thoughts about girls
May. 27th, 2004 03:09 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lauralhI have a theory about gender. Well, several. Not just about gender, i mean it's all interconnected.
anyway here's the basics of it:
1) in today's society, there is no way to differentiate between nature vs. nurture, and in fact they both interact with each other as a sort of feedback loop. So a girl may have a slight tendency to be tomboyish or uberfemme, and being encouraged to do either will increase the tendencies.
2) culturally1 speaking, the way little girls socialize is kind of wacky and, as I didn't have any female friends as a child2, I don't really understand it.
3) girls who had lots of female friends as children then grow up into that standard stereotype of woman more or less. You know the kind, the kind that misogynists describe.
4) girls who didn't don't so much, but there may still be tendencies, so if they get female friends in high school of the former type, they might be pushed that "standard woman" direction. Although if they get friends like them it's not as pronounced, or nonexistent.
5) these girls also have far more male friends than female friends, if any.
so anyway these are sort of my "working rules of thumb" that i have, mostly based on anecdotal evidence but, nonetheless serving me well enough. needless to say I try to hang out with the "male-socialized" females rather than the "female-socialized" females when I can.
[1] north american culture is all I can speak for.
[2] well, I had a couple, and was mystified when they totally stopped talking to me during the school year.
anyway here's the basics of it:
1) in today's society, there is no way to differentiate between nature vs. nurture, and in fact they both interact with each other as a sort of feedback loop. So a girl may have a slight tendency to be tomboyish or uberfemme, and being encouraged to do either will increase the tendencies.
2) culturally1 speaking, the way little girls socialize is kind of wacky and, as I didn't have any female friends as a child2, I don't really understand it.
3) girls who had lots of female friends as children then grow up into that standard stereotype of woman more or less. You know the kind, the kind that misogynists describe.
4) girls who didn't don't so much, but there may still be tendencies, so if they get female friends in high school of the former type, they might be pushed that "standard woman" direction. Although if they get friends like them it's not as pronounced, or nonexistent.
5) these girls also have far more male friends than female friends, if any.
so anyway these are sort of my "working rules of thumb" that i have, mostly based on anecdotal evidence but, nonetheless serving me well enough. needless to say I try to hang out with the "male-socialized" females rather than the "female-socialized" females when I can.
[1] north american culture is all I can speak for.
[2] well, I had a couple, and was mystified when they totally stopped talking to me during the school year.
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no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:27 pm (UTC)just because you don't fall into the typical girl socal behaviour of be nice in public, talk shit about people who aren't there doesn't make your experience definitive.
honestly, i always thought you were just too lazy to be nice in public.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:30 pm (UTC)i'm so much of one i don't even bother
no subject
Date: 2004-05-27 03:32 pm (UTC)I think the idea of misogyny is stupid, because while there are certain behaviors that women indulge in that I hate, there's definitely (as you well know) stuff men do that I also hate. so, whatever, I can't be bothered to be nice to people unless I want to fuck them.