toasty

I am finally feeling better. I whipped that headache into shape and packed some more, then we had Pies (but no Pints) and then bought shit at Fred Meyer for the new place, and put it there (I inaguarated the toilet) and then went home and packed some more. Also there was a shower in there somewhere. I was beat and wanted to sleep. So I did.

The last dream I remember was some cop taking me on a secret Seattle route to avoid rush-hour traffic on I-5.

Anyway. I've been reading a bunch of stuff about how this generation is afraid to grow up. Whether it's emotional or financial fears. Which is utterly strange to me because a) I grew up in Louisiana and b) I went to Duke. Almost everyone I had a casual acquaintance with in either of these two categories is currently married if not having-been-married-for-years. Of course, I think of expensive private colleges as breeding grounds for upper-class snobs, and back home everyone is still expected to get married in college at the latest. My brother was 22, I mean.

But my closest friends weren't anywhere near marriage or expecting to get married when I graduated, and this seems to still be the case, so I always thought those people who were rushing into adulthood were freaks. On the other hand we did all have good decent jobs and probably could have bought houses if we wanted to. This was before the dot-com economy collapsed on itself, things are different now, but even then the mentality of not wanting "responsibility" was omnipresent. I had enough trouble taking care of a pair of gerbils.

The bride in one of the first post-college weddings I attended later slept with a friend of mine, which further led me to believe that these people weren't rushing to adulthood so much as running away from childhood. Fear of being alone, yadda yadda yadda. It's a lot harder to be alone at 21 than 28.

you knew THIS was coming

Pick any subject for me to rant on and I'll address it in an LJ post.

rants, round one

wanton_bliss: Richard Gere

Richard Gere is the creepiest man in Hollywood. No, wait, that's James Wood. But at least no one thinks of Wood as a "sex symbol." Richard Gere has these tiny little beady eyes that just make me shudder in my soul, and have ever since that damn Pretty Woman movie came out. Which is what started my generation loving him? What the fuck is that, he's a rich asshole who pays a woman to fuck him until he decides he can't live without her cunt? Which takes a week, by the way. Oh man, he's so creepy I just can't stop thinking of pedophiles when I look at him. And as Pretty Woman came out when I was like twelve, I think it's understandable. I never got why a pointy chin and nose and pedophile eyes were considered "sexy."

perich: Gamers

I already wrote a screed on video games, but in general I hate games of all and every kind. Games are what you do when you're a kid and don't have cable or friends and have read every book in the house at least twenty times. There's just something about, say, card games, that makes my brain do this thing where it shuts off in the most painful manner possible and stutters every so often to remind me that it's shut off because it can't take the fucking inanity of the card game. Obviously people who play card games only do it for money. Or when they're so painfully drunk they can't do anything else.

RPGs on the other hand just make me think that someone is gathering a bunch of emotionally-stunted guys together to run a campaign together, instead of privately staying at home alone and writing an actually interesting fantasy/SF story/novel. Break out of the constraints, man. And get some new friends. Even if you have a well-rounded social life, you're associating with people whose mental concepts never leave Dagobah. If not literally than figuratively. Besides, in the echelons of polite society you can't really talk about how you play games for hours and hours.

sinfonie: Office Culture

An oxymoron if there ever was one. Work and play are supposed to be two different things. If the people at work are nice and friendly, well, we can chat occasionally, but in general what's the point. You have to pretend to like each other and pretend to be interested in your coworkers snot-nosed little brats, when really all you're thinking about is how long till you can get drunk again. I am working the same job as you for reasons you can't even imagine, so buzz off, bitch.

drownedinink: Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson used to not arouse any feelings of ire in me till I found out he was another one of the few, the proud, the Hollywood Right. He has 15 kids? What the fuck? Doesn't he know he's a heartthrob? I guess he doesn't CARE anymore. So then he produced the bloodiest zombie movie ever, and FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE RAISING FROM THE DEAD. I mean what the fuck is that? If you're going to believe in a make-believe man in the sky, at least try to make him appealing to the youngsters. Christ.

verybadlady: Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding

There are good things and bad things about both. Formula feeding of course contains flouride, which everyone knows is a mind control agent. Besides kids who don't get breastfed develop unnatural booby fixations in later life. But then again, the problem with breastfeeding (unless you get one of those fancy pumps) is you can't do it in public without some jackass jumping down your throat. I mean let's face it, a boob with a baby attached to it, as "natural" as it may sound, is just not as attractive as an exposed boob with no baby attached to it.

interlude: Holy Shit

This dude and lady totally drove from Seattle to the North Pole last week.

rants round 2

baldghoti: Midgets

Midgets are funny, yet sad. Don't they realize that the world isn't even designed for normal-sized people who happen to be a little short, let alone them? They should therefore kill themselves.

jette: Dogs

I used to like dogs, when I was a child with no friends, but then one bit me. It was shot and killed, of course. A cat could never ever bite someone so violently that she'd have to get 30 stitches on her face, side and leg respectively, and yet we allow these animals to baby-sit our children? That's brilliant. Even if they aren't very bitey, they still can overpower you with their giant legs and tongues. And they smell bad.

pokemyeye: Clogged drains

Clogged drains totally suck. I mean, think about it logically. We live in the 21st century, all we want to drain out is WATER. Can a drain not be invented with holes so small all the get rid of is the water, and maybe a trap in-between for the nasty gunk that clogs drains? What is the difficulty here? Why is the bathroom more than a match for modern technology?

llarian: the tech industry

The tech industry attracts the most unattractive, uninteresting, uncool people it has ever been my distinct lack of pleasure not to avoid meeting. This ranges all the way up to the boring normals. Because of this, you are expected to put in 60+ hours a week to fulfill requirements. I mean, everyone else has no life and is doing it, so why don't you?

liquid915: Andrea Dworkin

The misinterpretation of Dworkin's writings to say "All sex is rape" has totally fucking led to the hatred and devaluation of feminism. And I think she's really fucking gone mad, but otherwise I can't say anything else about her.

round 3!

baldghoti: infidelity

Infidelity and the resulting breach of trust and betrayal is inevitable in today's monogamy-obsessed culture. First of all, before the age of 30 sexual desire is so intense that it can only be slaked by having lots of sex. Because people get tired of each other's sexual techniques, they have to have sex with other people. Getting married before 25 pretty much guarantees infidelity.

The other problem is that once you are in a monogamous relationship, you aren't allowed to have sexual desire for anyone else remotely attainable. This repression leads to rotting and festering and an all-consuming lust that then of course leads to fucking your secretary on the back of her desk.

To avoid these problems, don't commit while you still think about sex constantly, and if you do think about sex with someone other than your partner, tell them so you can have help with the seduction. If they aren't cool with that, then why fucking waste your time with them? Save the monogamy for when you aren't sexually viable anymore.

emily_swank: Commercials for feminine products

Commercials in general are stupid, but feminine products are even moreso. First of all, it's impossible to understand what they are really trying to advertise unless you're already in on the secret. Second of all, if you know you need a pad or deodorant spray or whatever, there's no need to find out WHICH BRAND IS BETTER by watching a commercial. Finally, everyone in the goddamn menstraul commercials is too fucking happy. Why don't they show someone lying in bed crying with a heating pad on, munching on chocolate and watching Pride and Prejudice? Who needs a pad or tampon that'll let them be active when they're fucking prostrate from cramps?

I mean, let's face it ladies, the only activity you can even come close to contemplating when it's Flow Time is sex, but there's no freakin' way any commercial would ever come close to admitting this. I mean, that's the best part about pads, you don't have to go to the bathroom before sex, but is this ever alluded to in commercials? Hell no. And who the fuck wears white pants ever, let alone during their period?