round 3!

[lauralh]

baldghoti: infidelity

Infidelity and the resulting breach of trust and betrayal is inevitable in today's monogamy-obsessed culture. First of all, before the age of 30 sexual desire is so intense that it can only be slaked by having lots of sex. Because people get tired of each other's sexual techniques, they have to have sex with other people. Getting married before 25 pretty much guarantees infidelity.

The other problem is that once you are in a monogamous relationship, you aren't allowed to have sexual desire for anyone else remotely attainable. This repression leads to rotting and festering and an all-consuming lust that then of course leads to fucking your secretary on the back of her desk.

To avoid these problems, don't commit while you still think about sex constantly, and if you do think about sex with someone other than your partner, tell them so you can have help with the seduction. If they aren't cool with that, then why fucking waste your time with them? Save the monogamy for when you aren't sexually viable anymore.

emily_swank: Commercials for feminine products

Commercials in general are stupid, but feminine products are even moreso. First of all, it's impossible to understand what they are really trying to advertise unless you're already in on the secret. Second of all, if you know you need a pad or deodorant spray or whatever, there's no need to find out WHICH BRAND IS BETTER by watching a commercial. Finally, everyone in the goddamn menstraul commercials is too fucking happy. Why don't they show someone lying in bed crying with a heating pad on, munching on chocolate and watching Pride and Prejudice? Who needs a pad or tampon that'll let them be active when they're fucking prostrate from cramps?

I mean, let's face it ladies, the only activity you can even come close to contemplating when it's Flow Time is sex, but there's no freakin' way any commercial would ever come close to admitting this. I mean, that's the best part about pads, you don't have to go to the bathroom before sex, but is this ever alluded to in commercials? Hell no. And who the fuck wears white pants ever, let alone during their period?

Comments

[twirlingtulip.livejournal.com]

HILARIOUSNESS

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

I never thought of myself as "sexually viable" before.

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I am a gamer... employed in the tech industry... who loves dogs.




And midgets.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

also, you aren't sexually viable because you're in a monogamous relationship.

white pants

[hfloyd.livejournal.com]

Every other woman in Buenos Aires wears white pants.