rants, round one

[lauralh]

wanton_bliss: Richard Gere

Richard Gere is the creepiest man in Hollywood. No, wait, that's James Wood. But at least no one thinks of Wood as a "sex symbol." Richard Gere has these tiny little beady eyes that just make me shudder in my soul, and have ever since that damn Pretty Woman movie came out. Which is what started my generation loving him? What the fuck is that, he's a rich asshole who pays a woman to fuck him until he decides he can't live without her cunt? Which takes a week, by the way. Oh man, he's so creepy I just can't stop thinking of pedophiles when I look at him. And as Pretty Woman came out when I was like twelve, I think it's understandable. I never got why a pointy chin and nose and pedophile eyes were considered "sexy."

perich: Gamers

I already wrote a screed on video games, but in general I hate games of all and every kind. Games are what you do when you're a kid and don't have cable or friends and have read every book in the house at least twenty times. There's just something about, say, card games, that makes my brain do this thing where it shuts off in the most painful manner possible and stutters every so often to remind me that it's shut off because it can't take the fucking inanity of the card game. Obviously people who play card games only do it for money. Or when they're so painfully drunk they can't do anything else.

RPGs on the other hand just make me think that someone is gathering a bunch of emotionally-stunted guys together to run a campaign together, instead of privately staying at home alone and writing an actually interesting fantasy/SF story/novel. Break out of the constraints, man. And get some new friends. Even if you have a well-rounded social life, you're associating with people whose mental concepts never leave Dagobah. If not literally than figuratively. Besides, in the echelons of polite society you can't really talk about how you play games for hours and hours.

sinfonie: Office Culture

An oxymoron if there ever was one. Work and play are supposed to be two different things. If the people at work are nice and friendly, well, we can chat occasionally, but in general what's the point. You have to pretend to like each other and pretend to be interested in your coworkers snot-nosed little brats, when really all you're thinking about is how long till you can get drunk again. I am working the same job as you for reasons you can't even imagine, so buzz off, bitch.

drownedinink: Mel Gibson

Mel Gibson used to not arouse any feelings of ire in me till I found out he was another one of the few, the proud, the Hollywood Right. He has 15 kids? What the fuck? Doesn't he know he's a heartthrob? I guess he doesn't CARE anymore. So then he produced the bloodiest zombie movie ever, and FORGOT TO INCLUDE THE RAISING FROM THE DEAD. I mean what the fuck is that? If you're going to believe in a make-believe man in the sky, at least try to make him appealing to the youngsters. Christ.

verybadlady: Breastfeeding vs. Formula Feeding

There are good things and bad things about both. Formula feeding of course contains flouride, which everyone knows is a mind control agent. Besides kids who don't get breastfed develop unnatural booby fixations in later life. But then again, the problem with breastfeeding (unless you get one of those fancy pumps) is you can't do it in public without some jackass jumping down your throat. I mean let's face it, a boob with a baby attached to it, as "natural" as it may sound, is just not as attractive as an exposed boob with no baby attached to it.

Comments

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

You also noticed Richard Gere's beady pig eyes! Finally!

[fidelity-astro.livejournal.com]

dude jesus totally does rise from the dead at the end. and you can see through his hands!!!!

(i really appreciated that little touch)

i can't stand violence so I haven't seen it

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Are you joshing me?

Re: i can't stand violence so I haven't seen it

[fidelity-astro.livejournal.com]

nope. there's a short bit at the end that shows his burial shroud with nothing under it, and then he walks past the camera, which is at waist-level and you can see through the holes in his hands. it's a pretty neat effect.

and best of all, he seems totally badass, getting up to kick some ass


it wasn't a bad movie for what it was, though i don't think it met the goals it had set for itself. most violent thing ever, though

Richard Gere

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

That's lame.

I thought you were going to giggle about how dreamy his hair is.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Unified Field Theory...

[satanseviltwin.livejournal.com]

...and

"who cares?"
or
"I don't know?"
or
any other such response that dodges the subject
is
decidedly unacceptable.