yay me

The first time I ever parallel-parked was a few weeks ago, when I went to Portland. The second time was last night. Both times it took a couple tries before I got it, but I did get it. My main problem is that I'm a terrible judge of distances, and I'm very afraid that I'm going to hit the front car while pulling up next to it. Fortunately this never happens.

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When I woke up this morning there was a drug-addled weirdo on my couch. But he was pretty nice to me last week so I let him stay there.

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For some reason it really bugged me when I heard that my friend who taught in Korea for a year didn't bother learning a single word. Especially as I've been to foreign countries with her before, and she even made an effort for the few days we were there. But then I realized that this girl is one of those people who is a Really Good Follower - when she's with us, she does her damnedest to be funnier and more into everything than we are, but when she's with other people, she becomes like them. So since none of the other English teachers bothered to learn a lick, neither did she.

my favorite bit of the weekend

Is this song being played at the wedding. Well, that and RHCP's "Give It Away Now."

the Laural Top 10 FAQ

carrying on the meme...

(1) Can I see your ID?

Yes, even though I'm older than you.

(2) Did you know you look like you're about eight years old?

Mostly I hear 22 (from guys in bars), although 16 is another favorite guess. But thank you very much for playing.

(3) Where are you from?

Just like CCR, I was "born in the bayou." Grew up outside of Abbeville, LA.

(4) From Louisiana? But you don't have an accent!

No, sorry. And it doesn't come out when I get drunk, either. If I talk to my mother on the phone I can sort of fake it, but I'm actually much better at faking Southern accents. I never even heard a Southern accent (in person) till I was 16.

As to why I don't have an accent, it's basically because my mother's mother thought they made you sound like an idiot, so she more or less beat it out of her daughters.

(5) Did you see [that movie] last year?

Probably.

(6) Can I make fun of your school's sports team?

If you're trying to make me get defensive, you probably shouldn't. I care less about sports than any other human on the planet.

(7) Are you and Steve dating?

"No, we're just good friends." I'm not dating my other housemate either. It's just an anti-Three's Company without Don Knotts.

(8) Did you see that Seinfeld/Simpsons/Friends where...

Yes, and I can quote the relevant lines too.

(9) Are you really that cynical?

I'm actually much worse.

(10) Can I buy you a drink?

Feel free, but I still won't sleep with you.

the existential cookbook

I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs and cheese) is bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarette, some coffee, and four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I am encouraged, but my journey is still long.