(no subject)

[lauralh]

The Perfect Date for men. Contains boobies.

The Perfect Date for women

• meet at a bar
• he buys you drinks
• you discuss the last albums you've bought
• he tells you about his timeshare
• dinner, picnic at the park with a view of the ocean and sunset
• delicious food, perfect wine
• gives you his coat when it gets too cold
• walks you to an outdoor concert where you dance and drink together
• back to his car, kissing
• go to his place and get busy
• the tongue is master
• two hours of sex, two hours of sleep, two hours of sex, et cetera
• Sneak out when he's finally asleep, being sure to delete your number from his cell phone.

Comments

[tyrven.livejournal.com]

I love it

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

but really (http://www.livejournal.com/users/drsaddam/150800.html?thread=622608#t622608)

[katethoughts.livejournal.com]

That IS perfect!

A simple "you have the hottest body I've ever seen" would be a nice icing on the cake.

[perich.livejournal.com]

And then he punches a Negro! Ripping satire, I say.

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

If you're going to delete your number from his cellphone, then why in god's name do you want to hear about his timeshare?

The importance of owning property

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

A girl's gotta have her standards.

Re: The importance of owning property

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

Well, I thought being able to hammer a six inch spike through a board with his penis was a given.

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

Your mother puts license plates in your underwear?!?

How do you sit?