I've even raped and killed a mountain panda in the hills of Shaanxi.

I managed not to blog about the hailstorm that hit when I got off the bus yesterday afternoon. I didn't take pictures, either. I just went inside, surfed a little web, then read for a while.

Thoughts permeate my head but only when I'm not at work; as soon as I get here they evaporate like so much bad beer, and I have nothing interesting to say at all.

On the bus they have this shitty poetry which I can't help reading in the mornings. In the afternoons it's different, my motion sickness seems to return if I read or even play with my cell for too long. I can't read on the bus because of that, apparently I'm the only person affected that way. So I feel like an aliterate but no, really, I just get carsick if I read on the bus. Anyway, the point is this shitty poetry is put up on the bus and it bugs me because I can't stop reading it even though it's so terrible.

This morning I couldn't stop thinking about how I feel like my life is put on hold and I don't know what to do to make it start again. I couldn't stop thinking "what if?" which I don't believe in doing, it's not as bad as praying I suppose but almost. "What if I'd just moved to Seattle after graduating instead of wasting two years in NC?" Well, really, who knows. I suppose I would have gotten a job, since they were being given out like beads to topless girls back then, but a couple years later it all crashed down too. And I don't think I would have gotten the same social network, or any at all necessarily. And maybe I would have died in the earthquake. Yeah, see, "what if" is stupid.