lauralh: (beer)
[personal profile] lauralh
I invented a new word and forgot to tell you guys. "Protarded." As in, professionally retarded. So retarded you get to stay home and collect govt. money. Metaphorically speaking.


This is a fun story about why I don't date older men. About a week before Nick and I broke up, I met a guy who was like 32 or 33 on the airplane. He was plenty attractive and interesting and after Nick and I broke up, I emailed him. He volunteered to take me out the day after my birthday for dinner. I wasn't exactly sure it was a date, and when he picked me up in his Lincoln Towncar with the leather seats and phat everything, I still wasn't sure. I was nervous enough for it to be one, but he wasn't.

He wasn't nervous. He was smooth and sophisticated and utterly sure of himself. He knew the end of the "date" would not be bed long before I did, he knew he wasn't having wine with dinner because he'd partied in his 20s and didn't Do That anymore. (I think he went to meetings for it, actually.) But everything he said or did made me very aware that I had just gotten out of a long-term relationship and wanted to party and sleep around and do drugs. Basically he made me feel inferior in every way, and I had just dumped a guy because of that.

So, I never saw him again. I like for both people to be a little nervous during first dates, and this may be twisted, but I like to have SOME upper hand somewhere. I don't want to date someone who's my superior in every way, dammit.

Poll time.
[Poll #195827]

Date: 2003-10-24 10:02 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] verybadlady.livejournal.com
RIGHT ON:

Why does X stay with Y when X is miserable all the time and Y is clearly a loser/asshole/bitch/manipulator/evil monster?

Date: 2003-10-24 11:01 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antimarx.livejournal.com
Preface by Dallas.

Getting pedantic on your ass

Date: 2003-10-24 12:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesadpunk.livejournal.com
The word "pro" has several meanings. One of which though means a professional, or an expert in a field of endeavor. To say someone is a professional football player, you call him a "pro football player." So, by definition, to be a professional retard you’d have to be a pro retard. Not a "pro tarded."

If you use the term "pro" as a prefix, it signifies the thought of "before." For example, to proceed means to go before, the prologue is the introduction before the main piece, etc. So to say something is protarded, you are essentially saying something is "before the tarded."

In either case, you’d have to define the word "tarded."


I think your new word is proretarded.

Re: Getting pedantic on your ass

Date: 2003-10-24 02:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbaliser.livejournal.com
"tard" is totally acceptable slang usage for "retard".

Re: Getting pedantic on your ass

Date: 2003-10-24 04:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemur68.livejournal.com
Not only acceptable, but preferred. Also acceptable are "retarded" used as a noun, and "human resources manager."

Date: 2003-10-28 08:52 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanton-bliss.livejournal.com
What ever happened to "re-re"?

Re: Getting pedantic on your ass

Date: 2003-10-24 03:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] aefirpo.livejournal.com
You think too much. :)

Re: Getting pedantic on your ass

Date: 2003-10-26 10:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antimarx.livejournal.com
Buddy, maybe you should reread your Linguistics textbook.We have a number of ways of labeling new concepts (professionally retarded, for instance) and your little suffix/prefix is not sufficient.

- Abbreviation – Saying names of first letters of major syllables – TV from television, CIA from Central Intelligence Agency,
- Acronym – Using the sound of the first letters/syllable of each word to make a new word – NATO, NASA, AWOL, SCUBA,
- Blend – creating a new word by combining parts of two existing words. – ginormous (gigantic + enormous), sitcom (situation + comedy), guesstimate, infomercial, etc.
- Clipping – Creating a word by shortening a pre-existing one. – ‘fridge, detox, perp,
- Compounding – creating a new word by combining two free morphemes – houseboat, mallrat, studmuffin, scarecrow
- Coinage – Creating a new word from scratch –
- Conversion – changing the category of a word.(VERBING) – funny (adj.) > (noun) I made a funny. Tattletale (n) > (v) He was tattletaling on me
- Backformation – Deleting an apparent suffix to create a new word. – To dissertate, from dissertation. Ush from usher.

Yeah, uhm, you suck.

Date: 2003-10-26 03:27 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesadpunk.livejournal.com
So Laural's word, according to your little list, is then a blend. I stand corrected. That is, if all humor in my ridiculous post is lost and you take it literally, not understanding me being sarcastic and just giving Laural a hard time, which is the nature of our relationship. I was hoping she would comment, as she is wont to do by tearing me a new asshole with her punctilious retorts. But thankfully, she has you to defend her. That's okay though, I understand you waving your cock in the air with textbook screed and territorially pissing on other's banter is just an attempt to hopefully remain on Laural's fuck list.

So yeah, uhm, carry on with your editorial defenses. You win the prize junior. Yay, you!

Date: 2003-10-26 11:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] antimarx.livejournal.com
I'm taking "I'm pedantic" a step further. And don't assume I'm angry or desperate.

Date: 2003-10-27 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thesadpunk.livejournal.com
When you use terms and phrases such as "buddy" and "your little suffix/prefix is not sufficient," that comes across as condescending, not pedantic. Then by concluding your diatribe with "you suck," it hardly reads didactically.

Had you just cut and pasted the information from your linguistics book without the added pugnatious tone, I would have interpreted your comment as a mere rebuttal to furthering the whole pedantic tenor of the post.

So, uhm, I like to suck.

Date: 2003-10-28 07:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanton-bliss.livejournal.com
I think by his statement 'I'm taking "I'm pedantic" a step further' he meant to the point of being an asshole.

Date: 2003-10-28 09:00 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbaliser.livejournal.com
obviously.

Date: 2003-11-02 01:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbaliser.livejournal.com
really i'm not that capricious.

Date: 2003-11-03 07:44 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanton-bliss.livejournal.com
Once on the fuck list, always on the fuck list?

Date: 2003-11-03 08:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbaliser.livejournal.com
I wouldn't go that far but, yeah, it's not exactly hard to stay on.

(huh huh huh)

Excellent.

Date: 2003-11-03 09:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wanton-bliss.livejournal.com
So, you're saying I have carte blanche to treat you like a dick?

Date: 2003-11-03 09:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] herbaliser.livejournal.com
Dude, I still don't really believe you exist.

Date: 2003-10-24 01:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lemur68.livejournal.com
in his Lincoln Towncar with the leather seats

You should have left out his age, so we could have had a good laugh imagining some 65-to-dead guy driving up in his old-people land boat....

Date: 2003-10-24 10:56 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] discogravy.livejournal.com
I like to have SOME upper hand somewhere. I don't want to date someone who's my superior in every way, dammit.


That's what having a vagina is all about.

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Laural Hill

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