ok...

[lauralh]

The next guy who is "ashamed" of his gender or "makes a public apology" for his gender, may as well just hand me a knife so I can cut his balls off. I mean clearly he's not using them.

Ladies: do you ever hear of something stupid a woman does and feel like you need to apologize for her? I sure as hell don't.

I just don't understand it. You were born either one way or another, it wasn't something you had any control over. Do guys just take "brotherhood" so seriously they feel guilty for bad things other men do? Or are they just trying to impress women this way? If the latter I'm going to excuse it briefly and just yell at women who fall for it.

Comments

[das-prompt.livejournal.com]

Actually, I'm more sorry for being white and heterosexual. Oh, and I wish I had the opportunity to be sorry for being rich.

[candid.livejournal.com]

"Please excuse my friend here -- he's been in sex-crime prison for a number of years and isn't really used to interacting with women," is a gussied-up way of saying "Hey, unlike other guys, I'm not a creep."

Yell at the women who fall for it.

[mylastsigh.livejournal.com]

I have a knife I could send to you. A dummy in my house used it last yeat to cut the head off of another dummy. I have photos to prove it.

[shekb.livejournal.com]

I am ashamed of your gender. I would like to make a sincere, public apology on your behalf.

Unfortunately, since you are all a gang of evil harpies incapable of even a modicum of magnanimity, I am honestly unable to do so.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

So is this all part and parcel liberal guilt? Because if someone is actually sorry for all the crimes, say, that men perpetrate on women, that's slightly different than hearing about one jackass and then saying "Wow, I wish I wasn't a male!"

[meekgirl.livejournal.com]

yeah, it seems like a ploy to come off as sensitive. walk the walk, don't talk the talk, I say.

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

I tend to feel embarrassed by things that many homosexuals do, feeling (right or wrong) that they further stereotypes that will inevitably be applied to me by bigots. On the other hand, you are talking about guilt not embarrassment, so perhaps it is apples and oranges.

I certainly would never apologize for something that someone else did; I can barely be bothered to apologize for my own faults.

[das-prompt.livejournal.com]

Well, I can't speak for all the jack-asses out there, just this jack-ass.

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

Male gender apologia is, basically, a declaration of androgyny - usually but not invariably made in order to attempt to get into some girl's pants on the theoretical basis that she'll like an androgyne better than a declared masculine type.

Despite angry claims to the contrary from some women, I haven't often witnessed it used in a deliberately fraudulent context. Generally it's proferred up honestly enough by someone who wants to distance themselves from being "typically masculine", which you must admit is a set of traits that's taken a hell of a political beating over the past couple of decades.

[das-prompt.livejournal.com]

werd.

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

Do guys just take "brotherhood" so seriously they feel guilty for bad things other men do? Or are they just trying to impress women this way? If the latter I'm going to excuse it briefly and just yell at women who fall for it.

The latter. I'll join the others saying it's a "look, see, I'm a sensitive guy" ploy to get in women's pants.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

you may as well just eat shit and die, then.

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

Which sorts of things tend to embarass you, out of curiosity?

Speaking as a heterosexual male, I've never had a problem with homosexuality in and of itself, but I find it hard to deal with overly "queeny" types. (Which is not to say there's necessarily anything inherently wrong with being queenish, just that that's what I tend to have difficulty relating to / dealing with.)

[shekb.livejournal.com]

Language!

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

[Unknown site tag] posted about a creepy guy in her feminist studies class who was talking about how hunter-gatherer societies prove the superiority of men, and like five guys jumped in to say "I'm sorry for my gender!"

heh, i'm sure dave loves that

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

yeah that's pretty much how I feel. Like, I don't want to be associated with women who do stupid shit, but hey, what can you do. sometimes you just gotta say WHAT THE FUCK.

[ernunnos.livejournal.com]

Men are simple creatures. When in doubt, assume they're trying to get into your pants.

[candid.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but sometimes when you're dealing with "feminist studies" types, you have to say shit like that, otherwise you get in trouble.

[billyfleetwood.livejournal.com]

are you hypothesizing that these guys are regular macho pinheads, who are merely pretending to be sensitive to get laid? Sounds farfetched to me. I think there really is an entire generation of men who truly do believe that masculinity is a bad thing. Why do they believe this? because women have been screaming it from the rooftops for the past 30 odd years. What noone told these guys is that women rarely say what they actually mean.

"I just want to be listened to", really means, "I just want to talk more, I don't really expect you to listen, because if you did, I wouldn't have anything to complain to my girlfriends about"

But these guys never got that memo, and yeah they're out there, emoting and being supportive, and listening and shit. and not getting ANY pussy. None. I've met these guys. They're the ones who will be in a room full of men, No women for miles in any direction, and they will claim they don't like strip clubs....

Whatever, dude. More lapdances for me. If you've internalized your masculine guilt to the point that you can't admit to a room full of men that strip clubs are awesome? Really really super awesome!!! That ain't a ruse, that's mental illness.

That's why it's implausible that the sensitive guy angle would be adopted as a booty-gatherin' strategy. It only works on closet lesbians,and everyone involved is usually confused and miserable. I think any guy who was trying to devise a ploy to get into a woman's pants would probably come up with something way easier and with a higher rate of success. Like getting them drunk and then ignoring them. That's like opening a can of Lipton's instant booty and adding water.

p.s. yes, men do exhibit a certain amount of brotherhood.I know it's hard for women to understand, what with their irrational blind hatred for all other members of their own gender, but the concept of bro-hood does exist, and actually comes in handy when the Germans get a little uppity, as they're wont to do every once in a while. Yeah Swarzenegger, don't think we won't be watching your ass. One day his boots are gonna get a little too shiny, and the people of california are gonna start thinking long and hard about Gary Coleman's leadership abilities.And I don't wanna hear that "But he's Austrian" crap. Austria is like the Nazi version of the MTV Beach house.

Sorry, I got a little off topic there.

[keithmcnally.livejournal.com]

There was some dumbass "take back the night" thing going on last friday night, and I guess my describing it as "dumbass" is fairly telling of how useful I thought the whole thing was. But I figure hey, chicks are crazy, let them do what they want.

The thing that really killed me was that I read later in the local studen paper, that there was a guy there. They wouldn't let him take part in the march, so he hung around in front of City Hall and waited for the harpies to walk around the block. Then he said some shit about how "We as men are the problem, and we have to realize that it's up to us to stop raping women."

Christ, even if I were a rapist, I'd be annoyed at that guy. I'd say he's the problem by making the rest of us look like a buncha pussies. "We're the problem," jesus christ. It's women who are the problem, because they're so damn sexy they make guys wanna rape the shit out them. How can we be blamed for that? It's all backwards, goddammit. This country is fucked.

I'm gonna go eat a bag of sugar.

[andrewx.livejournal.com]

yeah, "don't worry, i'm not like most men," sounds like someone trying to impress you with his sensitivity for some possible sex. or possibly to hold hands and cry and talk about feelings and marriage, or come to terms with this repressed homosexuality through you, or whatever he wants. i would bet that someone that tries to sell his gender out like that would probably say the exact opposite if he overheard you saying that's what you wanted in men, cause he sounds super afraid of not being liked. he probably wouldn't sound very sincere saying it though, as he probably isn't a good liar, huh?

Shocked, I say shocked!

[perich.livejournal.com]

*gasp* How crudely insensitive! How utterly Neanderthal!

I wish to apologize on behalf of my gender.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

you so rock.

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

There is a charming amount of self-loathing in the homosexual community (keeping in mind I probably have little right to speak on these matters beyond the simple fact that I suck dick - I have no real-world gay friends and I have been in one gay bar once... for fifteen minutes... but I like to think I pick up on things via the marvel of the internet).

Somewhere, there was a great post by one of my LJ friends regarding the phenomenon of EVERY homosexual in the known universe making a point of including the phrase "straight-acting" in his personal ads. There seems to be a bit of a backlash against "queeny" types of queers, which brings with it a certain elitist mentality by those who do not feel they qualify for the lisping, limp-wristed stereotypes. There are probably multiple lj-communities devoted to this, but one springs to mind.

As always, I have completely mixed feelings on the matter. On the one hand, I hate the idea of people "affecting" these stereotypical traits in order to better define themselves (almost as much as I hate the predisposition to labels within the homosexual community ("bears" vs "otters" vs "twinks" vs "trolls" et cetera)). On the other hand, if that is who you actually are, it sucks that other people groan when you mince into the room. Then there is the fact that I find drag queens utterly entertaining.

It comes down to the odd sense that I am defined by the actions of others simply because I happen to share with them a fondness for sexual symmetry. If you want to know the specifics of what embarrasses me, it is a laundry list that includes - the aforementioned ridiculous terminology and subcultures (bears, twinks, and even 'tops' for that matter), the excessively "queeny" (and I believe affected) manners of speech, locomotion and human interaction, the inexplicable fondness for questionable female crooners such as Barbara Streisand and Cher, rampant promiscuity... and on and on.

It is not as though it ruins my day or I feel the need to join a community to bitch about it. But I cringe at the idea of my unwilling association with people who are nothing like me. I cringe, and then feel a little guilty for cringing in the first place.

[hotcrab.livejournal.com]

I've been trying to talk to people about this very issue for years, but no one ever wants to listen.