lauralh | comedy was so much funnier when they were all on drugs...

I was watching an E! special on SNL, and was reminded of Velvet Jones.

On a classic skit on NBCs SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE Eddie Murphy portrayed Velvet Jones, a supposed educator from the Velvet Jones School of Technology. One of the books (and courses) he offered was how to be a prostitute. His sales pitch said: "Are you a female high school dropout, between the ages of sixteen and twenty-five?...Are you tired of lying around in bed all day with nothing to do? Well. you never need get up again, because in six short weeks I can train you to be high paying ho...Just think-fifteen hundred dollars a week, without even leading the comfort of your own bedroom.. Sound too good to be true? Just send for my new book, "I Wanna Be a Ho." Velvet Jones follow-up publications included "I Wanna Drive a Pink Cadillac, Wear Diamond Rings and Kick Women in the Butt." (his how to be a Pimp guidebook); The Velvet Jones Harlequin Romance series featuring Velvet Love and Kicked in the Butt by Love ("I knew in an instant that the three dollars I had spent on wine would not go to waste."); and an exciting new videocassette The Exercises of Love marketed with these telling word "Yes, it's all here: the squatting, the thrusting, the grunting and the groaning. Take it from Velvet, these are exercises you will want to watch again and again."

That's pure comedy gold, man.