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something i thought about
Jun. 25th, 2004 12:01 pmI was raised with 4 siblings and consequently almost never got time to myself. The only alone-time I ever had was going outside to our backyard, or riding my bike, or locking myself in my room (when I didn't share one) and reading. None of these lasted very long, no more than a couple of hours usually, and once coming back "home" I was once again bombarded with "people."
When I left home, I had roommates the whole time, till I was 22, at which point I nearly lost it. My social life went from "friends every day at least" to "friends once a week at most." I adapted by becoming an internet fiend, a habit I still indulge in to a certain extent. And, also, by watching copious amounts of television. It still wasn't that much, as I didn't have cable, but having the TV on the same syndicated shows every day is almost like having friends (no pun intended). If I wasn't going out on the weekend, and my shows weren't on, I sank into a deep funk. Of course, moving in with my boyfriend a couple years later didn't really erase these tendencies completely. First of all, he sucked, and second of all, living alone does have its advantages that I missed. I got over it but it took a while, and then I was unemployed for a long time and so, literally, Nick was the only person I'd see for months.
But I moved out and into the Cult of the Red Door, and it quickly felt like college again, except with more money. That didn't last, but the brother-sister vibe did. I'm coming to the realization that, as weird and fucked-up as my childhood sibling relatioships were, I'm very well adapted to not-living-alone. Which sucks in some ways but not in others, and I wonder how many of my peers and age group are or aren't. Because most of them are only children, or their siblings are much older or younger. The only child "fad" began in this country a while back, I was going to say "fifty years" but that was the baby boom and not that many people were only children then. But, my mother, at least, definitely had the vibe going - her sister was ten years older.
Anyway, the point I'm driving at is that living with someone is not easy for people who have had their own space all their lives, and I wonder if this is a cause for relationships with live-in partners that disintegrate.
When I left home, I had roommates the whole time, till I was 22, at which point I nearly lost it. My social life went from "friends every day at least" to "friends once a week at most." I adapted by becoming an internet fiend, a habit I still indulge in to a certain extent. And, also, by watching copious amounts of television. It still wasn't that much, as I didn't have cable, but having the TV on the same syndicated shows every day is almost like having friends (no pun intended). If I wasn't going out on the weekend, and my shows weren't on, I sank into a deep funk. Of course, moving in with my boyfriend a couple years later didn't really erase these tendencies completely. First of all, he sucked, and second of all, living alone does have its advantages that I missed. I got over it but it took a while, and then I was unemployed for a long time and so, literally, Nick was the only person I'd see for months.
But I moved out and into the Cult of the Red Door, and it quickly felt like college again, except with more money. That didn't last, but the brother-sister vibe did. I'm coming to the realization that, as weird and fucked-up as my childhood sibling relatioships were, I'm very well adapted to not-living-alone. Which sucks in some ways but not in others, and I wonder how many of my peers and age group are or aren't. Because most of them are only children, or their siblings are much older or younger. The only child "fad" began in this country a while back, I was going to say "fifty years" but that was the baby boom and not that many people were only children then. But, my mother, at least, definitely had the vibe going - her sister was ten years older.
Anyway, the point I'm driving at is that living with someone is not easy for people who have had their own space all their lives, and I wonder if this is a cause for relationships with live-in partners that disintegrate.
