cheatsheet for men

[lauralh]

(work in progress)

• Compliment her shoes.
• If she refuses to tell you what's wrong, it's probably something you did. Go over everything that's happened in the past 24 hours, and if you're still clueless, buy her flowers and tell her you feel terrible.
• When trying to think of things to do, ask her what she WON'T do before asking her what would be a good option.

Comments

[asabass.livejournal.com]

Shoes! Good one.

[endquote.livejournal.com]

See, I always compliment anything but shoes. Only gay guys compliment shoes.

[endquote.livejournal.com]

(Though they are of course the first thing I notice, because hi, I have more shoes than any guy should have.)

[jette.livejournal.com]

Mr. Endquote is that a new icon?

All this time seeing you on friend's comment pages and I didn't realize you were hot.

[endquote.livejournal.com]

Thanks. It's kind of a recent development.

[doyouhaveaflag.livejournal.com]

you being hot is a recent development??

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

see, you're being false to yourself!

[endquote.livejournal.com]

Isn't that pretty much what you do on dates?

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

you mean PRETEND TO NOT BE GAY?

[endquote.livejournal.com]

Well I at least leave the shopping dates til after we've had sex.

[asabass.livejournal.com]

This chick must be thrilled right now (see comments)

[henry.livejournal.com]

Never, ever ever fail to notice a new haircut.

[henry.livejournal.com]

...or suggest going into Lane Bryant while at the mall.

[lisa.livejournal.com]

*grounds for instant sex restriction*

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

I think if she's over size 16 that's ok.

[henry.livejournal.com]

what the hell do guys know about size??

[tyrven.livejournal.com]

I was thinking about coming up with one of these too. And all of these would be on it. :)

[duckierose.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, when she's being quiet, nothing is actually wrong. She is just feeling quiet. Instead of asking her "what's wrong?" trying something more open, like "is anything up, or are you just in a quiet mood?" Don't automatically take the defensive, or be upset that she's not talking your ear off.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

i think this only applies to like, four girls in the world, though.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

these should apply to all girls

[bitchness.livejournal.com]

I dunno about the shoe thing. I own 3 pairs of tennis shoes, one pair of dressy boots for work only, a couple of pair of combat boots and some leather sandals. I have bought two pair of shoes in the last year, the work boots and a pair of everyday tennis shoes. I would like to be a shoe whore, I just can't afford to be. And if someone actually complimented me on my white keds I might think they were rather off their nut.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

is that what you wear on a date?

[bitchness.livejournal.com]

What's a date?

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

WHAT'S A BATTLE?

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I don't think I've ever dated a girl that liked flowers. Or at least any that could be placated with them after a fight.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

do you know this from experience?

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Do I know that some girls don't like flowers or do I know that flowers don't necessarily smooth over a misunderstanding?

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

either.

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

Well yes, I've had at least a couple women tell me they weren't interested in flowers, but I've also never tried it as a gesture with any of the others who never gave an opinion one way or the other....

[bewing.livejournal.com]

Never accuse a woman of PMS, especially if it's true.
Try really hard never to psychoanalyze a woman to her face, even if she asks. (This one applies role-reversed, too.)

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Don't psychoanalyze someone you want to sleep with again.

The PMS thing, I dunno, I used to forget how wacky I got before my period, so if a male friend asked me I'd be like "Oh. Yes." and feel a lot better about my dissolving brain. I have a decent sense of humor about it, so if it's true I don't get mad. If it's not true, though, I get violent.

[nonstatic.livejournal.com]

dude the girls totally love the shoes bit. they're all "oh, he's REALLY seeing me. instead of saying they like my shirt they see my ability to accessorize. this is a man i want to be with"

[xaotica.livejournal.com]

i wouldn't want to get someone flowers for refusing to talk to me.. 'cause that's like rewarding them for refusing to communicate.

plus, then they never figure out what prompted the need to buy flowers in the first place.. so it's like they're buying flowers daily for a stranger

i suppose it would be ok if you had one lover in your life who had no function other than buying you flowers every day but i wouldn't want them to be the only one :P

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

well, it's one of those "you should know what you did wrong" things. hopefully the flowers will soften things and lead to communication!

[jimbojones.livejournal.com]

You forgot "if you think they're psycho, they probably are. Dump them soonest before it gets worse."

[a-muse-d.livejournal.com]

we're not psycho, just misunderstood.


thus the purpose of the cheatsheet.




...fooled ya, didn't i.