(no subject)

[lauralh]

aside from having children, why do people get married? oh, also, don't say "societal pressure."

Comments

[thingstouchme.livejournal.com]

it's funny you just posted this, because I was writing a similarly-related post.

I think you get tax breaks and other benefits (medically, etc) you can only have if you're married.

My mom does it to get lots of money from divorces. (She's on #5.)

Other than that, I don't know. I don't personally find it all that important, but if someone else (especially my life partner) does, why not do it? It's arbitrary but not harmful.

[crasch.livejournal.com]

* spousal employment benefits
* golddigging a la Anna Nicole Smith.
* religious reasons; many believe it's a sin to fuck outside of marriage
* mutual "Keep Away" sign from potential sexual rivals
* excuse to a have big party and invite all your friends
* excuse to hit up your friends for expensive gifts
* power of attorney--if you get sick or die, spouse has first dibs on how to divy up your organs and property
* many little girls plan their weddings from early childhood--realization of childhood dream

[crasch.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah -- in some states, the age of consent is lower if you're married.

[chris.livejournal.com]

taxes, wedding gifts, and i think a few people still do it because they are really into each other.

[ravenword.livejournal.com]

I would imagine that the "whew, that's settled then" feeling would be appealing to some people. It's nice to have constants in your life. Of course marriages almost never resemble constants, but I can see it being idealized into that.

The non cynical answer

[prettykate.livejournal.com]

Some people get married because they are really in love, and want to pledge themselves to someone for life, and in their religon/goverment, that's called getting married. Since that promise is a big deal, they decide to have a party and celebrate.

[baroof.livejournal.com]

so you can say "dude, I was married to britney spears!!!"

[harryh.livejournal.com]

Because it raises the barrier to exit.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

WOO-HOO!

[radium.livejournal.com]

Fear.

[sidspencer.livejournal.com]

totally. it's a contract about building something. (which makes me think of the catheters' "build a home", which is definitely not about marriage -- neither is big black's "bad penny", but i always associate that song with marriage for some reason. i never think of the descendents song, "marriage", because it's probably the stupidest one on "milo goes to college".) honestly, i'd draw up a contract with anyone that i was planning on forming a little corporation of shared assets and responsibilities with. blackbelt's even working on one.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

YOUR MOM IS A HO?

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Health Insurance! Yeah!

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

that last one irks me like crazy, because even I thought I'd marry my first boyfriend, when I was SIXTEEN.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

hahahah

not enough apparently

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

the idea of say, a yearly renewable contract doesn't sound bad (as an alternative to "marriage") actually.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

seeing marriage as a constant is probably societal pressure

[sidspencer.livejournal.com]

my aunt and uncle did something like that -- they only committed for the first four years, then signed up for another 4, then adopted kids and signed up until the last one turns 18 (2014).

a year can be pretty short, though, when you're planning big things.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

I think that marrying my first (or second) boyfriend would have been bad, even though I really strongly wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

[ravenword.livejournal.com]

I would consider it a more personal form of stupidity, but okay.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

right.

YOU SAY POTAHTO

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

I just meant in the "love is forever!" context, which is pushed onto people via pop culture. But the reality of society is more of the quickie divorce and golddiggers.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

::shudder::

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

two words my friend. two words.
Kitchen-aid Mixer. Maybe that is three.
It is the holy grail of wedding gifts. It often lasts longer then the marriage itself and can be the source of much contention in the divorce but it is one of the coolest things you acquire when you make it legal.
A friend of mine is still bitter that he lost his to the ex-wife.

[thingstouchme.livejournal.com]

Pretty much!

[thingstouchme.livejournal.com]

that's so great. more realistic.

[henry.livejournal.com]

cause i want that big ring

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

now it all makes sense

[gfrancie.livejournal.com]

I want a red one.
Someone told me I should just buy one. Forget it.
You go through the agony of inviting certain relatives you don't like and the general stress of the day so you can acquire a pretty piece of kitchen porn.
You earn that damn thing.

bling bling

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

don't be fooled by the rocks that i got

[harryh.livejournal.com]

cynic.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

right.

[taylor-warchild.livejournal.com]

Mainly because we're truly madly deeply in love and we get along really well, and couldn't picture our lives without each other. We're best buddies as well so that has a great deal to do with it. We have chosen not to breed, but someday may adopt a humanoid unless those cute little Honda Asimo robots come down in price and learn how to mix drinks. But all in all we're not really the type of people that think everybody should be married, because it's simply not the answer for everyone, but it was for us. Sometimes we have a sneaking suspicion that we were created in separate laboratories specifically designed for one another. Spooky wedded bliss incident #2,984,782: When we got together and compared CD collections, both of which were quite huge, and found they were almost identical... (insert spooky wooo-ooo-ooo-woo music here) We made about 280 clams when we finally sold all the doubles... Nobody needs to have THAT much Nitzer Ebb, Trent Reznor and KMFDM do they? Eh.. On second thought I guess it's always good to have a few spares..

[lemur68.livejournal.com]

don't say "societal pressure."

...

::lowers hand:: Eh, I got nothin'.

[buckylea.livejournal.com]

which is why there is a minimum age for getting married...
(as ineffective as it may be)

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

i was 16, "old enough."

[thesadpunk.livejournal.com]

Because some guys want to grow a vagina?

[wanton-bliss.livejournal.com]

hrmph.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

vaginas rule, dude.

[thesadpunk.livejournal.com]

Only if you're born with one. Too much maintenance for my likings though.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

see, that's awesome.
but I suspect very rarely the case.

[bewing.livejournal.com]

It's a celebration to formalize a relationship.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

the celebration I'm ok with, it's the "formalizing" bit I don't get.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

i personally have trouble getting out of any committed relationship even without the threat of "ending a marriage", anyway.

[buckylea.livejournal.com]

oh srious? it's 18 over here... which is still quie young i suppose

[discogravy.livejournal.com]

this varies by locale, and not to be a pedant, but your question was "why do people get married?" not "is the age of consent a good idea?" or whatever. <3

that said, i got married because i love her. i, for a very long time, thought i would be alone for ever and ever amen for various OMG I'M SO UNLOVEABLE PLEASE PASS THE MORRISSEY TAPES AND RAZOR BLADES reasons. finding out that these reasons were bullshit was really great, and i wanted to share my life with her.

i suppose that in bygone days, marriage was a real affirmation of "true love forever!" or was at least meant to. i kind of look at it like "girlfriend++". i know divorces are easy to go through and get, and this eases some of my "OMG STUCK!" anxieties.

mightymonju (pretty sure) posted this link to this wunderbarr website: nomarriage.com

[discogravy.livejournal.com]

isn't every year you don't get divorced a renewal? it's like those bmg music club things: if you don't send the card to cancel yr order, you get billed for some shitty CD you never wanted.

hmm...maybe not the best simile for a marriage.

[aefirpo.livejournal.com]

People like formalizing their relationships because they can't think of them as real until a man with authority tells them it is.

Plus there's this whole sect of people who still believe in this 'God' character I keep hearing about. I'm told he likes marriage.

[bewing.livejournal.com]

Some people enjoy formality, and some don't. It's just a matter of taste -- and it takes all kinds, y'know!