the hierarchy of conversation

[lauralh]

I'm trying to figure out why I don't like talking to people, and of course my basic retort is that people aren't very interesting. But that's not true, it's just that it's hard to talk about interesting stuff sometimes. No one is going to find the same things compelling, so you have to start at a basic level, then work up from there...

this is subject to change, input welcome:

             total enlightenment
         philosophy/religion/politics
     small talk/stories about your own past
 small talk about pop culture/current affairs
totally inane small talk about weather/traffic

Comments

[alishas.livejournal.com]

And it don't seem worth it to me. Sometimes you go through all the crap of the first two stages to discover a complete prick. Or further. It's so much effort and I'm not all that bothered.

I realise this isn't the Right Attitude.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Oh, I agree totally. I don't ever want to go through the crap, even if it would be worth it in the end.

[monstrosity.livejournal.com]

I find it is also possible to talk about completely inane things in the upper levels too. Just because it is philosophy doesn't mean it is philosophical.

[buckylea.livejournal.com]

..and the thing about talking online is that you can pretty much skip the first two levels, leaving you with a false sense of security that the person you're talking to is on the same level as you.
did that make sense?

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Oh, I didn't mean that the upper levels were any less inane by virtue of the position, just that you don't talk to people about them when you first meet.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Totally.

[mitwess.livejournal.com]

i think you can often read a person before saying a word.

secondly, i think you should talk about the most important things as soon as possible, why waste your time or thiers... conversation is like everything else in life, their is a variety of ways to go about it. just because most people have an innefficent communication progression method does not mean you have do.

figure out what is most important to you in life and frame a question around it to ask new people. if your main goal in life is to be a great mountain climber. ask people what they think about mountain climbing or if they have a dream they are pursuing. i think you can only be good friends with people who share similar goals in life.

you forgot the TOP level

[jumper42.livejournal.com]

talking about cack!

i am ashamed you forgot that laural.

[vileinfestation.livejournal.com]

My yuppie housemate has the pyramid reversed, I think. He's good at looking into people's eyes and talking earnestly about garbage.

Me, however....A friend of mine was on vacation. She came back and said, "I just got back from Mexico!" I said, "cool."

Perhaps I should learn the gift of gab.

you have your own way of talking to people...

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

Although I must admit I'm surprised you didn't ask "How were the whores?"

[bewing.livejournal.com]

NOTHING between talking politics and total enlightenment!!??

I think there a whole realm of *real* ideas to dicuss between those two. That's where I like to end up, myself. Facts, theories, hypotheses, interesting questions and all. Some of us probably can't ever get to that total enlightenment category, either. Sigh. And talking shop -- you need to stick that one into either level 2 or 3.

[herbaliser.livejournal.com]

well, I put that all in the same level.

and I hate talking shop with people. I get paid to think about programming at work, and if I'm not getting paid, i'd prefer not to, thanks.

Re: you have your own way of talking to people...

[vileinfestation.livejournal.com]

Well, my friend was a girl....well, then again, knowing her, that probably WOULD have been the right response!

[jumper42.livejournal.com]

[quote]and if I'm not getting paid, i'd prefer not to, thanks.[/quote]

what other jobs do you have????