on drugs

[lauralh]

I've always thought too much. One thing I noticed about drinking - I felt stupid. And it was good. I couldn't really think clearly. Sometimes that's bad, but sometimes, after spending the entire day/week using your brain, for work and for introspection, you just wanna drown out the noise in your head.

Of course that's mainly just an added bonus. I just like the way it makes me feel. Endorphin rush, and all that. This is why I also like exercise, writing, chocolate, and sex. Side effect of endorphins - they make it hard to think of anything but how good you feel. You aren't stupid like you are when drinking, just... focused.

At times I joke that drinking kills off the weaker brain cells, so that only the stronger ones survive, but I'm wondering if that mightn't be true. Because I'm drinking more now than I ever have in my life - still fairly moderate, just more - and I'm still thinking way too damn much for my own good.