to wish impossible things

I was talking to Steve a couple days ago. It's more or less our "anniversary" of living together and being good friends and all that. He was talking about how he had to move out of his old place because it reminded him of the girl he lived with there... but now he couldn't even remember why he'd been so upset. He knew now that he didn't love her, and in retrospect didn't even like her that much. And I was thinking, wow, same here. Er, not his ex, mine. I liked him when I first started dating him, of course, and then I fell in love with him, but as time went on there were definitely lots of things about him that I didn't like. And in the end there was nothing about him that I liked. I didn't even realize it. I guess you can still think you're in love with someone and not really like them. When I talk to him now, I mean, there's a sense of accumulation, because you can't be with someone for five years and not get used to them... but I think even though I've more or less forgiven him to a certain degree, there's no way we could ever really be friends.

This isn't really as bad as it sounds, because in general there's not many people that I like. I mean, I tolerate, or think certain people are ok in small doses, but "like" is a strong word for me. I don't even know that "like" some of the people I hung out with in college. Not in the same way I like cake, I mean. If I say I like someone, it means I like them better than cake. If that makes any sense. Would I rather hang out with this person, or have cake? Not many people pass the cake test. And of course it depends, sometimes I want to hang out with people I am not entirely crazy about, but most of the time... no.