lauralh | for tyson (and others, hopefully)

(edit: new Backwash up.)

So You're Back on the Job or Tips for the Newly Re-employed
[or, how a day job is sort of like being a lady of the night only with worse outfits]

make sure you have a complete set of clothes that are clean the night before while you technically can go to work in the dress you wore to your sister's wedding, it is not the best first impression.
arriving in damp clothes because you didn't have enough time for the dryer is also not cool. sexy maybe, but not cool.
remove all traces of personal art projects from your hair, face, and under your nails before you leave the house. last minute grooming on the bus is preferable to green spray paint in your nose.
check your pockets before you leave the house. is that packet in there a screen cleaner, a handi-wipe or a condom? make sure you know in advance before you whip it out.
saying "I've never done this before" not as intriguing as in some other situations.
you may need to rummage in your bag in front of clients. make sure it is free of porn, pipes, other incriminating stuff.
it is only ok to say "fuck" if they say "fuck" first, and even then it's maybe not such a good idea.
when working with older men, do not ever look at a picture in their office and say "oh is this your mother?" or "oh is this your daughter?" it is often their wife and this gets the bad juju flying early.
staying up until 2:30 am trying to install Linux on a variety of machines while drinking wine, talking crap, and smoking with techno-hippies the night before not advisable.
asking "can I check my email?" on client's machine even tackier than doing it at your friend's house. avert your eyes if a glimpse at their browser history reveals untoward URLs
practice saying "doing research" in place of "using Google" beforehand.